Living Single

From the time Ryan and I first met up until 10 months ago he served as the debate coach for his school, which meant he was gone pretty much every weekend from October to May. However, all that changed this fall when he took a new position. At first him being around all the time was kind of cramping my style, and my dating life, but after a little while I started to get used to it and like it. Of course, that meant it was time to pull the rug out from under me -- and so Ryan has left town for the next week, taking kids on a tour of Italy. He tried to get sympathy since it's a school trip, but it's still a school trip to Italy, so he can suck it. It's amazing how quickly Sally and I have fallen back into our "Ryan is out of town" routines again. The changes may seen small to the untrained eye, but they are pretty definite in the day to day running of things.

1. Sleeping When Ryan is gone Sally and I sleep more. Yes, I know that is impossible for some of you to imagine since we appear to hibernate at times, but it's really true. If I don't carefully plan our days down to the last second one or both of us can fall asleep at any time. Where we sleep is also changed with Ryan's absence, because Sally feels she needs to compensate for him being gone by taking up as much of the bed as possible. It would be a sweet gesture if it wasn't so painful to sleep on a six square inches of bed with enormous dog paws in my back. And she snores.

2. Eating Three words: Rice A Roni. Sally and I practically live on it when we are on our own. Well, that and single spoonfuls of cottage cheese straight from the carton. It's low impact, high sodium living. If Ryan's gone more than week we both start retaining water like crazy, but we're very satisfied as we slosh down the street.

3. Pronouns When Ryan is in town I refer to he and I as "we." When he's gone, as is obvious in this post, it's me and Sally. Before we got Sally it referred to me and the cats. Yes, when my husband is gone I get just a little closer to being a crazy recluse who makes sweaters from pet hair. Of course, I probably could sell those and make a killing on Etsy.

4. Hygiene I like to think of myself as a pretty clean person. I like my house to be tidy, and to make sure there are no unpleasant aromas coming off my body. But when Ryan's gone? Not so much. I pretty much wear pajamas from the second I get home, whereas I normally stay dressed until at least 5:30 when he's here. And shaving my legs? Yeah, not going to happen. Same goes from doing any major cleaning on the house. If dirt can be blown away, great. Otherwise it's going to have to wait until I do my "Ryan is coming home" cleaning at the end of the week.

5. Activities Ryan has been gone 24 hours and I have already blogged three times. I would have blogged more, but I've been asleep. Oh, and I went to the gym. And work. That's pretty much it. Ryan use to try and encourage me to be more active when he was gone, but now he's accepted the fact I turn into a lump, and thinks of it as my time to "recharge." Yeah, that's it...

I know I've just painted a less than attractive picture of myself, but, really, who cares? When Ryan returns I will spring from my salt lined chrysalis well rested with smooth and silky legs. I would do it sooner, but the guy I used date is now off the market...