For the past few weeks I have been thinking of different features I could add to LibbyLogic.com. Rice-a-Roni and refried beans recipes? Too intense for most people. Celebrities that look like chimps? Been done. Bar tending tips? I think I've had enough hang overs. Then it came to me -- random lists of five. I like lists, and writing briefer min pieces may be appreciated by my readers fort whom a whole post is just too much. After all, America is getting dumber. After I decided on the whole "five things" idea my friend Ellen posted this on her blog. So, for the inaugural "LibbyLogic Five Things You Should Know" post I give you five things you probably don't know about me. I mean, unless you're Ryan, or a stalker, or Ryan's stalker...
1. I hate chocolate and peanut butter mixed together. Yes, I know, it's like a national obsession and every thing and anything comes in chocolate and peanut butter flavor --- but I think it tastes like feet. And I am not going to tell you how I know what feet taste like, I'm past that chapter of my life and I'm not reliving it for your enjoyment. I can't even have them as elements of a larger thing. Those "Take 5" bars? With the pretzels? Totally ruined by the presence of peanut butter. I have nothing against peanut butter, it just better stay the fuck away from my chocolate.
2. If I could have any job in the world it would be as a continuity editor for television and films. You know how you'll be watching a movie and suddenly the character that wasn't wearing a ring in the last shot is wearing two? That's bad continuity. And it drives me nuts. I would love to be the person who watches out for that stuff and makes sure everything is perfect in every shot. It appeals to my obsessive nature for picayune things. The job also entails finding era clothing and props for period pieces. There is nothing better than combing through antique stores looking for old soda bottles and so forth. It's like shopping, but I don't have to worry that anything I am buying will make my ass look fat. Unfortunately, to have such a job I would have to live in LA. I would rather eat chocolate and peanut butter.
3. I crochet. I'm not like, crazy insanely good at it, but I can do a good straight stitch and make warm, pretty blankets, scarves, and anything else that only requires a series of lines. I find it very relaxing to just sit and do the same thing over and over again. And people are always surprised when I saw I made something for them.
4. I like all animals -- except horses. Growing up I divided girls I knew into two categories -- those who liked Barbies, and those who liked horses. The horse girls always seemed a little odd to me. Maybe it was their healthy body images, but I think it was because their minds were warped by evil horses. I have two experiences that succinctly describe my experiences with horses: the first was in high school, I was a senior on the worst senior trip of all -- at a ranch in Antimony, Utah. We went for a horse back ride, and, as we were leaving, my horse laid down, trapping my leg. Oh, and she wasn't getting up any time soon. The second happened right after I started dating Ryan. We went out to his Dad's, where I discovered he had three horses in his backyard. Ryan took some carrots and we went out to feed them. All was well, I was happy, having a good time, feeling better about the mangy beasts, when one sneezed, blowing carrot gunk all over me. I was going to have to meet Ryan's family covered in horse snot and chewed carrot. I know that bitch was laughing at me. Let the French eat them.
5. If I ever disappear without a trace, you will most likely find me in Hanoi. Going to Vietnam was the most intense, most wonderful experience of my life. And Hanoi was the best partas busy, and messy, and religious, and inane, and the food was fucking amazing. Honestly, I don't know how to accurately describe it. Being there just resonated with my soul. I am dying to go back, and I know I will.
So, there are five things you might not know about me. Maybe next time I'll write about my vestigial tail... But that's almost as painful as the feet tasting thing, so probably not.