Monday, February 11, 2008

Babies Shouldn't Smoke

Luke loves band-aids. He puts them on every injury, real or imagined, and uses them the way some people use handbags, to spruce up his outfit. Because my family is nothing if not indulgent when it comes to this little boy, we stock our cabinets with every kind of band aid imaginable. It's almost like a first aid Olympics." Oh, you have Dora?" one of us will say, "well, I have the Dora and Diego signature series, plus three different types of Power Rangers and the Elmo ouchless." I like to pride myself on having different and quirky band aids that Luke can't get anywhere else. Yep, if he's going to hurt himself he's going to want it be around me. Yeah, I know how that sounded.

Recently I picked up a package of band aids printed to look like crime scene tape. Kitschy, with just just a hint of irony. Perfect. And the box even said that they had a free toy inside. Even better. I really thought this would be the band aid blow that would make the plethora of first aid products at my Mom's look like, well, first aid products.

Luke was so excited about the band aids he asked if he could take them home. Great. Now everyone could see just how innovative I was in the arena of band aids. Two day
s later I was out at my Mom's and found the item below on the counter. Yes, a tiny pack of cigarettes. And yes, that was the "free toy."

Now, I didn't expect the free toy to be a pony, but toy cigarettes? What's next, a crack pipe or an Amy Winehouse doll? Can't a person walk on the wild side with their band aid choices without worrying about potentially warping a kid's life? I think this is definitely an issue for the Utah state legislature. After all, if they can spend days on bills marginalizing drinking, homosexuality, and anything else they consider "godless" then they can take up the cause of toy cigarettes in band aid boxes. I think it's a moral imperative. And now I'm hoping no one in the legislature reads this blog, because I know they would take me seriously, and then we would only be allowed to buy band aids with Moroni on them.

I guess when I think about it things could have been worse. It could have been a tiny severed head. Of course, that would be something Luke would think was "cool." And then he would need a tiny band aid to put over the bloody stump.

4 comments:

Ellen said...

maybe these would help "heal" any bad feelings over the inappropriate toy:

http://www.mcphee.com/items/11657.html

Ellen said...

Uh oh, I just realized there's a free toy inside that too! Wonder what it would be...

Amanda said...

You have missed the irony in the "Free Toy" - it goes with the theme of the bandages. When we bought he Ninja ones, the box included a plastic ninja. The bacon bandages - a pig, etc. etc.
Crime scene tape usually means death - so do cigarettes. See!! Although a disembodied appendage would have been so much cooler.

Jailbird said...

I totally need these bandaids. You can keep the cigarettes.