Tuesday, December 18, 2007

Best laid plans

I would just like to start by saying none of this would have happened if Utah's liquor laws weren't so screwy.

I am trying to finish up my Christmas shopping this week, and pretty much the only thing left to do is to find a couple fun items to put in Ryan's stocking. I thought about the usual items like candy, toothbrushes, cigars, and handcuffs, but I really want to do something different. Then it came to me -- mini bottles! You see, Ryan has recently begun enjoying bourbon, and I thought this would be a great way for him to sample different kinds without bankrupting us. Also, I really like holding them and feeling like a giant. However, there was a small hole in my plan -- Utah does not allow the sale of mini bottles in state liquor stores. I think it has something to do with fearing parents will assume since they are small they are meant for children, which, if you think about it, is perfectly rational. So, I had to figure out a way to get my mini bottles bootleg.

Luckily, my friend Tara, who lives in the godless state of California is coming to visit over Christmas, and therefore could serve as my mini bottle mule. I pulled out my hand dandy cell phone and texted her my request, expecting a speedy, and sarcastic response.

I got a speedy response, but it wasn't from Tara. It was from Candice, my very nice, and very LDS co-worker. She wrote back "Okay, but I'm not sure where to get mini bottles." Yes, while in trapped in my fervor to buy illicit gifts I had hit the wrong name in my contacts list (Candice is at the top) and tried to pull Candice over to the dark side. And, if her response is any indicator, I almost succeeded.

After the debacle played itself out I had to tell Ryan what was going on, spoiling any Christmas surprise mini bottles could bring. Hopefully Christmas socks will bring him just as much joy. I already asked Candice to pick them up.