Thursday, July 2, 2009

Hate PETA? Blame Libby

Today's guest post comes from Susanne over at Married Geeks. She also has a background in media, which gives her an excellent insight into just how crappy a person I really am. She also lives in Nevada, which means she has a lot of time on her hands when she is not playing Keno. I think those two facts come together nicely in this piece. Enjoy.

The whole news story about PETA being upset with President Obama for swatting a fly is one of the most ridiculous things I have ever heard in my life. Seriously? This shit was headline news!?

As I was reading these riveting “headline” news bits about how PETA was issuing statements about Obama’s “execution” of the fly, I thought here is a perfect opportunity to blog about some absurd topic and really put PETA in its place. We all know PETA peeps are preposterous, so it was an easy target, I know. I even swing to the left, but damn, these people are so far gone to the left they can’t even step out of their front door in their plastic shoes for fear they will step on a gnat, can’t even drive their leather-free cars because heaven forbid they hit a bee on their drive to get their raw food supply, and they can’t even do beer bongs at their bonfires for fear of spewing it back up on some unsuspecting ant that, let’s face it, was at the wrong place at the wrong time.

I sat down to do my research and found some really great articles like the one about how British scientists have come up with the perfect way to swat a fly. I was going to talk about the real news flash, you know, that flies are almost as big of a nuisance as PETA is! I wondered if there was a group of scientists out there that would invent a swatter of some sort to smack the stupid out of these people.

And then. Then I decided to actually go to PETA’s website to see this rant first hand. I’d go to the proverbial humanely-treated horse’s mouth to help me get all fired up, so I could get all smack daddy with their collective fur-free asses. And what did I see? An explanation that said THE MEDIA had hounded THEM for a statement the second the sound of Obama’s smack on his arm stopped resonating through all the news media geniuses’ heads. Granted PETA’s statement was moronic, claiming “the president isn't the Buddha and shouldn't be expected to do everything right.” Well, no shit, vegan Sherlock. If he were perfect, he’d be Libby, right?

So, I say if you are pissed off that the little fly that could(n’t) was headline news, I say we blame Libby, not PETA. After all, she’s all jiggy with the gnat-squashing, bee-murdering, carnivorous media.


Yellow Trash Diaries said...

I've heard that on a slow news day Libby will hide in the bushes by the interstate and thow newborn kittens before oncoming traffic. Almost as bad as the time she spiked the prune juice at the nursing home after everyone got tired of hearing about the swine flu on the news. Thank God for Sanford-- the homeless people are resting a little easier tonight.

LB @Wait, She Said What? said...

So now PETA is against killing annoying bugs too? Did they get too bored with the big animals so they moved on to smaller prey? Well they can bite my ass because I will always kill a spider or bug if it comes near me or is in my home. PETA CAN SUCK IT!

Joanna Jenkins said...

I wish PETA would issue another crazy press release just to get a break from all the Michael Jackson crap on the news :-)