Sunday, April 1, 2012

Things I Have Learned From Pinterest


I, like pretty much every other person on the planet with two X chromosomes, have fallen prey to Pinterest. How could I not? I'm lazy and would like to be a better person, and Pinterest makes it seem like I can improve my lifestyle by surfing the web. Also, it makes me feel better about my slacker state, because it shows me other people are slacking as well by what they pin. Sure, it may look like they are coming up with great ideas for meals, playtime, and their homes, but I can read the subtext... 

1. No one wants to eat their vegetables -- or chicken breasts.  Seriously, there are so many recipes for chicken on the site at times I think it's sponsored by the poultry farmers of America. Then I remember that chicken breasts are the one thing pretty much everyone buys, and no one really knows how to prepare with flavor. There are equally as many recipes for "jazzing up" vegetables. You know what doesn't need "jazzing" to make it palatable? Ice cream. You don't need a "pin" to remind you. 

2. Everyone is disorganized. Organization tips are the chicken of the home design pages. Oh, and almost all organization can apparently be done with hanging shoe racks. I am expecting any day to see a pin with children stuffed into plastic sleeves hanging on the back of a closet door. 

3. There are very few "good hair" days. Women with straight hair are pinning advice on curling it. Women with curly hair are pinning advice on straightening it. Brunettes are looking for home streaking tips. Blondes are looking at "low lights." Everyone wants to find something "different" and "romantic" to do with it. I'm betting very few do. 

4. Playing with kids can be a drag. I love my daughter, I really do, but there are some times when I just have no idea what to do with her except sit her in front of the TV with a bag of refined sugar. Pinterest let's me know I am not alone. There are thousands of "car games," and "rainy day activities," and "play time ideas" that don't cost a lot of money, and don't need a lot of time to set up. Oh, and most of them can be organized with hanging shoe racks!   

5. Remembering more than five things is hard. Recipes with five ingredients or less spread faster on Pinterest than rumors about celebrity pregnancies on TMZ. Ditto for crafts with five pieces or less, photo shoot ideas with five props or less, and cleaning solutions with five steps or less. I guess six makes our brains explode. 

I've also noticed that a lot of people are apparently planning parties with great themes and really cute food that they aren't inviting me to, but I that's a topic for another post. Or for my therapist. 

Of course, it could just be that the parties are all in their minds... After all, actually throwing a party is work. 

That is sooo un-Pinterest.  


10 comments:

Serial Monogamist said...

Here's one I've learned: Matchy-matchy outfits are back in. Have you noticed this? I mean, do people really put together outfits that are like, gray with matching pink shoes, purse, and earrings? Because I HATE that. I have always associated it with old ladies. Is it just pinterest, or is this the thing again?

Jen said...

Buahaha!! I loved this post. So. Much. Truth.

Serial - I've noticed this too - even in the real world recenly. Frankly, it's pissing me off.

Patty O. said...

So, so true! I finally signed up for Pinterest, but have not really explored it. I figure I've already wasted too much time on Facebook, why add another vice?

for a different kind of girl said...

I watched a national news package last week about women hosting Pinterest parties. How they get together and each of them shares food and wine they've learned about and then a tip or hobby they've picked up on the great time suck. All I could think while watching it was "When do these women have time to plan this kind of event when they could be sitting on the couch eating plain old cake and pinning other stuff?" I also thought "Why did I cut all my hair off when there's all these braiding options out there?"

Oh, and, until I pinned a photo of Adam Levine, a pin I had for 'to do lists' was my most re-pinned item. We all want to be organized, and we all want to worship slightly douchey dudes. THAT'S what Pinterest has taught me.

LL Cool Joe said...

I just find the whole place way too girly for me. :D I do like some of the quotes.

IzzyMom said...

lololol hilarious...and pretty accurate. I hav e pinned stuff but it mostly all happened over the course of a few days. I went on this bender and have hardly been back since then, mainly because Pinterest makes me feel like everyone is more fabulous than me!

Kelly said...

Where for some it brings out their super crafty side, (my sister and my oldest child for example), for me Pinterest reminds me that I don't have an artistic bone in my body, that there are other people out there to make shit out of old t-shirts, coffee filters, and other crap that I throw away.

That I just need to go out to Etsy, another time-suck, and buy it there. Then I can pretend that I am cool.

Duffmano said...

I find it ironic that the thousands of hours I've spent on the Internet have left me ill equipped to deal with Pinterest. It's like no matter how many hours I spend stapling pictures of hand crafted whimsical furniture and colorful desserts to the wall I just can't make sense of what I'm doing.
It's like a confused rhesus monkey got ahold of my Southern Living cookbook and the Ikea catalog.

Riot Kitty said...

I don't know how people have time for social media AND work. And you have a kid! How do you do it?

Katie said...

So true! I'm also on Pinterest. Only I have zero time to actually DO any of the activities I pin. The pictures are pretty, though.