Monday, December 12, 2011

Princess Proliferation

I used to think that Disney Princesses were evil because they give the wrong message to little girls: that you're looks and catching a man are the most important things in the world.

Oh, how wrong I was.

Now, I am not saying the Princesses don't give that message, they most definitely do. I am just saying that is not the real reason they are evil.

The real reason? Because they are on EVERYTHING, and are out to bankrupt the parents of little girls everywhere.

These were add ons. The Princess Nativity is not available -- yet.

Really, the next time you are in the store, ANY store, take a look around. You can't swing a dead cat without hitting a product with a princess on it (you shouldn't be swinging dead cats anyway, but that's another post). They are on clothes, shoes, toys, make-up, band- aids, vitamins, books, diapers, cookies, tooth brushes, fruit snacks, and pretty much anything else you can imagine.

Little girls are trained to track them down, too. I swear Disney has a subliminal message in every one of it's movies showing them every princess and the products she is on. Sounds crazy, right? Then how can Meg identify every princess, even though she's only seen two of the movies. Yes, it could be that we went to Disneyland and I pointed them all out, or it could be an evil plot. I think we all know which explanation is more plausible.

It's getting to the point where I am just resigned to see the princesses everywhere, and fork my money over to Disney. We are in the process of buying new tires for our car. My husband and I were discussing options and I asked him if he thought "Tangled" was a better option than "Princess and the Frog." Luckily, Tiana does not have her own brand of steel belted radials -- yet.

If only feminism was still my only concern... After all, it doesn't have a friend named "Toy Story."

9 comments:

LL Cool Joe said...

Ha ha, I'm glad to say that neither of my daughter's gave a flying f***k about any of the Disney Princesses!

I think Esmerelda is pretty cool in the Hunchback of Notre Dame though!

Riot Kitty said...

I love Toy Story. I'd rather watch those movies than princess ones any day.

Gia said...

Yeahhh, princesses are everywhere. Don't some hospitals give you free disney onesies like .0002 seconds after giving birth, to start the branding as soon as possible? It's crazy. That being said, I'm 24 and own a Beauty and the Beast dvd. Evil geniuses

Nicole said...

Effin' Princesses. Even my son wants them. Sure, he has three older sisters, but still. And don't misunderstand. He can have all the Barbies and Princesses he wants. But I need a damn princess break and I was hoping he would usher in an era of superheroes. I'm not giving up hope. Santa's bringing him Capt. America stuff.

G said...

Don't worry, some day she'll grow out of it....probably like mine at the age of 8.

makingmonkeysoup.com said...

You are oh, so right about the princess branding. Until you said it, I forgot about all the other princess crap. You can make an entire meal out of princesses.

Maybe eating them can be a way to get back at them?

Cinderella soup, anyone?

Professor Chaos said...

My friends with young daughters tell me that they start asking for the toys before the movie even comes out. Disney Mind Control

Sam said...

Been there. Totally agree. Luckily, it doesn't last. We seem to have moved on from princesses already.

Granny Annie said...

If they don't outgrow it, we will be seeing women wearing tutus in the workplace a few years from now.