Thursday, June 9, 2011

ARGH!

I should be writing the "23 months" post tonight. I am not though, because tonight that certain 23 month old tried to kill me.

It was a pretty good day. She played with Grandma and Aunt Cate and Luke. She went to Little Gym. She ate fruit snacks and got stickers and hand stamps. She should have been happy!

Then? Just as we were pulling into the driveway at 5:00pm she fell asleep. When she awoke, the demon came out.

The dinosaur is scared of Meg.

First she wanted a snack. Not just any snack though, a rice krispie treat. I countered with fruit leather. She countered with throwing herself on the floor and kicking the fridge.

She wanted to draw. Then she wanted to eat the markers. I said she could draw, but not eat the markers. She threw herself out of her seat and onto the floor.

Realizing I could not make dinner without her lighting the house on fire I took her to the neighborhood Thai place. I ordered all her favorite stuff -- rice and pot stickers. When the food arrived I stuffed as much as I could in her mouth, and then tried to eat myself. She then UNBUCKLED the high chair and stood up. I put her in a chair. She got down. I put her on my lap. She tried to pull my shirt down. I put her on the floor. She tried to run out the door. Finally, holding her arm as she screamed and kicked in circles "Three Stooges" style on the floor, I signed the check and took the boxed up food.

Bath time was okay. I had wine and she pretended to be Mark Spitz. By that I mean she spit water at me.

After bath, I was putting lotion on her skin and hair. She asked for some, so I put it in her hand knowing she normally rubs it on her belly. She put it right in my eye. For a non-allergenic lotion Cetaphil burns like a motherfucker.

The worst part of all of this? Was every time she pissed me off, she would do something to make me laugh. At one point I actually said "stop making me laugh, I'm mad." Her response? "Laugh, Mama."

She does make me laugh.

I will tell you all about it in the "23 months" post this weekend. That is, if she lets me live.

I still love my girl.

14 comments:

makingmonkeysoup.com said...

Lotion in the eye does hurt like a motherfucker. It's worse when you don't put it there yourself. Good thing Meg is so freaking cute, huh?

Tracy Lynn said...

That's why they are cute. So you won't abandon them in a parking lot to save your life.

Riot Kitty said...

She is fearless. I'm not brave enough to go up on a statue like that.

mytruantpen.com said...

Welcome to two! Don't worry, you shouldn't spend more than, say, a month here.

- The mother of a two and a half year old who is incredibly cute but who is driving me to drink!

Michon said...

She's a spit fire!! Hopefully today will be filled with laughter ONLY!

Amanda said...

Cate & I have decided that Meg is the most awesome person on the planet today.

Ellen said...

Ah, parenthood. If only I had a nickle for every meal I've tried to eat like that...

Jen Has A Pen said...

Hahaha, Mark Spitz! :-) I'm so worried you aren't gonna make it out of this parenting game alive. That girl has a mind of her OWN. Oooh... OWN makes me think of Oprah. Maybe Meg will be the next Oprah?

Aunt Juicebox said...

She's cuter than ever. I swear, it just seems like yesterday that you posted her newborn pics.

Nicole said...

Ah! My 26 monther is just like that, too. Ridiculous I. His demands and charming at the same time. I feel you, momma.

Kim said...

Ha-- this is like the guys on Deadliest Catch laughing at a suffering Greenhorn. One day you'll get to laugh at someone else's initiation into the terrible two's, don't worry.

Granny Annie said...

That is the way they are supposed to act BEFORE the nap not after. Isn't love an amazing thing?

Three Cats and a Baby said...

When did Meg get so big??

I've decided that's why kids are so cute. To counteract how exhausting they are.

Dunc said...

omgah, Blythe is going to be the next Meg. I can already see it. I am scared for my future.