Monday, January 31, 2011

Jesus Isn't Laughing

Dear person who keeps leaving the Book of Mormon on my desk,

Knock it off.

Five times now I have come into the office to find the book on my desk. Five times now I have moved it, telling everyone around me it is a spare copy that landed on my desk the first time by happenstance, and that it is up for grabs. Five times now I have moved it off my desk.

I do not want to do any of this a sixth time.

If you are trying to get me to read the book, just know that I already have. I've lived in Utah my whole life, do you really think I've gone this long without reading it? Don't worry, if I suddenly decide to convert, I'm sure I will be able to find another copy.

If you are doing this as a joke, please know I'm not laughing. Once again, this is Utah, so my office has lots of Mormons. If it looks like I'm making light of their religious beliefs, that could mean trouble for me. I have enough trouble at the office as it is, and I like being able to pay my bills. So, let's find something else to joke about -- like Republicans. Wait, no, not Republicans, that wouldn't go over well either. How about puppies?

Is it a deal?

I have a book you can swear on to make it official...

Libby

21 comments:

The Tame One said...

I think you need to pass out Bibles or Korans or something.

G said...

Whoever is doing it seems like they're trying to put the squeeze on you somehow.

Religion is always a touchy subject, especially when you're trying to be neutral about it.

Hopefully the person doing this will recognize themselves and stop before it escalate even further.

Sunny said...

When I was a waitress at a little po dunk diner, waaaaaaaay back when; this church group used to come in every Sunday evening about a half hour before closing and would make me stay late until they left. The worst part is they didn't tip. Instead, they left me little bibles. Some people have no clue. Zilch. We ended up recognizing their car one night and locked the door. We told them we were closed. That took care of that..Their methods failed miserably at converting me and got their favorite diner to close up shop early to avoid them. Way to go!

Lynne said...

What's wrong with making fun of Republicans? :-)

Kim said...

I'm always getting invited to Korean churches. I have a sneaking suspicion it's just a cover for Korean women to get their card group together.

Riot Kitty said...

I suggest a web cam, then a knee in the testicles.

dufmanno said...

Don't hold it against me when I leave a hand carved likeness of Butter Touchdown Jesus on your swivel chair. Move it before you sit down though, it tends to attract life altering lightning strikes. I'd hate to hear you got smote.

Sam said...

Wow, who knew living in Utah was so harrowing?

Ash said...

put a sticky note on it (a nasty one!) ;)

Granny Annie said...

Can't you just quietly drop it in the trash? Does it work if you swear on the book of Mormon? What will the future think about all these books of religion all based on basically the same legends and myths as perceived by males.

Katie said...

UGH. That would irk the hell out of me!

And I agree. Nothing wrong with making fun of Republicans... :)

Kelly said...

I think that the next time it happens, you should just yell, "I'M TELLING!!!"

Or just quit being nice about it. A quick call to HR should also take care of this, pronto. Jerks.

BugginWord said...

I feel the exact same way about the person that signed me up for Golf Digest.

Mandy's Kidding said...

I second the vote for the garbage.

Amanda said...

Just tell Dad to knock it off.

rockygrace said...

This reminds me of when I quit smoking, and my boss kept leaving cigarettes on my desk.

I don't know if he thought it was funny or what, but it just made me think he was a giant jerk.

Ski Bike Junkie said...

It could be worse. You could have been like me and finally come to your senses about mormonism in your 30's and then get lectured about it by your sister who has never even bothered to read the Book of Mormon but is still convinced that it's true and that you're going to hell and taking your kids with you. (Among these kids is an 11 year old daughter who, when we told her we weren't going to church anymore, said "that whole gold plates story and how they had to be taken back up into heaven never did make any sense to me.")

I'd like to bear my testimony that the Book of Mormon is blue.

Jen said...

Hey Libby. I changed my blog address. I hope you'll continue to visit me when you have time. You can find me here: http://awordlover.blogspot.com/

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Next time just leave Jon Krakauer's book on everyone's desks.....

Ellie

The Empress said...

Is Utah like this???

I mean, it could be...

Missed Periods said...

Damn puppies!