Monday, August 16, 2010

Britney Spears Federer

Everyone has an almost but not quite brush with fame that they like to think about: going to a restaurant Julia Roberts supposedly loves, but she isn't there that night, hanging out in the club where the Sex Pistols first played, buying the same socks as Bill Clinton. In my case, I almost ran into Britney Spears as she was slowly going insane.

Picture it. The year was 2008. Ryan and I were in L.A. visiting Tara and Kent along with our friend Jason. We decided to do something totally Hollywood, and get chichi, overpriced drinks in a strangely decorated hotel: the Viceroy. This place was so Hollywood it has the calorie count for each cocktail listed on the menu. Oh, and everything is (was) at least 15 dollars. We went there to see someone famous, but got there too early, and left with nothing but a 100 bar tab and not even a buzz. Luckily, the drinks we had consumed weren't going to make us fat.

The next morning Tara and I got up to check the news, only to find that immediately after we had left Britney Spears had dragged her crazy ass in there, checked in, checked out several hours later, and then gone to Tarzana to shave her head. If we had only stayed a little longer, maybe we could have talked her out of it. Of course, then the world would have missed out on so much. So, maybe we could have gone with her and gotten matching buzz cuts.

Our brush with Britney is a story that Tara and I never get tired of telling. We were telling it again while I was in L.A. this last time, bemoaning the fact that, now that we're mothers, we will probably never get the opportunity to meet an insane pop star again. That's when Tara's partner Kent decided to join the conversation, and things got weird.
Kent: Was she really insane?
Tara: She shaved her head. Her parents had to take over her finances.
Me: And she had to give her kids to Kevin Federline. I mean, you know it's bad when he's the better parent.
Kent: She gave her kids to the famous tennis player?
Me: What?
Tara: Who?
Kent: The tennis player. Why would he have anything to do with it?
Me: You mean Roger Federer? No, she wasn't married to him.
Tara: Although, if you think about it, he may have been the best possibility in the situation.
Yeah, that's why celebrities will never want to hang out with us. Well, that and the poor and old aspects too.

At least we'll always have our brush with Britney.


Ash said...

you need to include kent more in the celeb gossip...federer? hehehehe

~ash's mum

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

I miss the crazy Brit Brit. No one bashes a car like she does!

Riot Kitty said...

The same socks as Bill Clinton! LOL!

I gave John Cusack a dirty look after he looked me up and down in NYC, before I realized who he was. Does that count?

dufmanno said...

I think Brit needed to work through her hair shaving/umbrella brandishing phase in her own way so you probably would have had a hard time talking her out of it. Still, you could have at least had some overpriced drinks together.

IzzyMom said...

I was writing gossip for MamaPop when Britney was cracking up. It made my work so much easier... *sigh* Brit giving her kids to a tennis pro? It could still happen :)

G said...

Ahhhh...the joys of Hollywood normalcy...glad to say I wasn't touched by fun filled celebs out here in Connecticut, although we do have our share of them living on the gold coast...

You should've seen how Britney was crucified, villified and uglified in the chat rooms.

Would've given everyone here enough material to work with until this year.

BugginWord said...

I for one am relieved. If Britney hadn't shaved her head, my chemo Halloween costume would have never made sense.

Summer said...

Was that before or after the pic of her Hey-Nanny-Nanny?

ShaLyse Walker said...

"getting all chi chi" hahahahaha

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Oh, I think he would have made an excellent dad....


LL Cool Joe said...

I'm a fan of Britney. Crazy or night, she's a a survivor, and she kicks butt.

I've met a few pop stars in my time, and most of them are boring.

LL Cool Joe said...

Crazy or not I meant, I'm a bit brain dead, even more than normal.