Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I Feel Petty

I feel like I am surrounded by pregnant women.

Really, it's like I'm in a pod person movie, and the pods are continuously talking about heartburn and hemorrhoids. Sometimes when they get hungry I fear for my fingers. After all, I am sure I look delicious.

There is no way in the world I would want to be pregnant right now. First of all, I have the world's most adorable daughter, and I am enjoying every minute of being her Mom. Another baby would be so unfair to her, as well as to the baby who would just pale in comparison at this point in time. Also, our house is close to bursting with just one baby; I can only imagine it with two. Despite these fact though, I find myself experiencing little pangs of jealousy with every baby announcement.

I think it's just that so many people are seemingly easily doing something I can't do. It isn't the babies they are having, again, none can hold a candle to Meg, but the fact they can have them at all. It's like being in a room filled with people who can whistle, and not being able to make a sound. You might have a flute that makes a much more beautiful sound, a sound you love more that any whistling you can imagine; and you know that even if you could whistle the sound probably wouldn't be as charming, intelligent, easy going, or sleep through the night as well as your flute. Also, everyone loves and admires your flute. Still, part of you still feels bad because you can't whistle.

Yeah, I know, that metaphor sucks.

Oh, and I wish I were taller.

Did I mention Meg is almost half my height? And that she sings the "Tiki Room" song? She's so amazing.

Maybe I'll use her picture to ward off hungry preggos. And if that doesn't work I will just throw pickles and run...

31 comments:

Chief said...

I am so with you on this. I struggled to get the kid sI have and while I was popping pills and taking my temperature.. my siblings were fertilizing eggs like rabbits.

I couldn't be happy for them either. When their kids were born I cried for myself.

I have two boys now and its great but every time someone talks about how easy it is for them to get pregnant or how "they just don't know how this keeps happening!" (with a giggle)... I want to kick someone in the throat. The pettiness will always be there.

But we will just enjoy our kids that we have, however we had to get them and let the rest of them do it the way they do it.

L.A. Harker said...

Everyone around me is preggo too. Such a crazy mix of emotions when your happy and jealous at the same time.

Ash said...

i also fear the same thing sometimes...if i have no. 2 then i wont be able to love him/her as much as i love ash or vice-versa. i love ash to bits and i couldn't share my love with anyone else than him, not even my hubby! hubby says it's easier with no. 2 and he is only saying that coz he wants a baby girl. let's see how time will roll for us.

hilarious yet a touching post. i enjoy them very much. :)

~ash's mum

ShaLyse Walker said...

This post touched me too and I actually liked the metaphor and thought it made alot of sense. I also know from a recent conversation with a friend that many women in that position feel those same emotions about already having a child but feeling slighted that they can't get pregnant when it seems that everyone around them is. I love your writing and I chatted with a lady who is in charge of some blogging confernce in park city and told her about your blog! I love it! I think it's an insightful and offers a fresh perspective to so many of the blogs out there!

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

Meg is now on the spouse short list for my nephew Evan the wonder baby.

G said...

It comes and goes in cycles at my job, and I think it's on the upswing. Fortunately, not in my particular unit/building, but elsewhere.

Can be an adventure at times.

Kim said...

All those pregnant women will be whistling out of their vaginas soon. I pee a little when I sneeze. My nipples look like jumbo pencil erasers.

Envy me, earthling.

Jules said...

Just think, you still have a tight vag jay jay AND an adorable baby. WINS all around!

Did I at least make you laugh?

Allison said...

Whistling sucks and is annoying. Play your flute, Libby, play your flute.

Miss Yvonne said...

I hear ya...I'm okay with not having any biological children, but sometimes when I'm with my super fertile friend and her three boys, my ovaries kick into overdrive. I can practically hear my eggs dropping.

Nik said...

It is hard when the kids threaten to outheight us by the time they're six. To short people everywhere, I salute you. (Did I ever tell you my aunt used to sing the "Short people ain't got no reason to live" song to me as a kid. It's amazing I'm as well-balanced as I am.

FabuLeslie said...

I don't really want to have kids, and it's so weird being in this society. I'm thinking it's nice for you to have the baby to be able to relate to the families they have and will have. I love my dog, Olive like she's my baby, but only a small fraction of the public get that, and even fewer people who have babies let me have that joy in loving my dog like the family member she is. I guess it's all relative. But I definitely know what you mean!

Granny Annie said...

Regardless of how we acquire our children, one thing all mothers have in common -- we get to raise these little crumb-crushers through all the stages of adoration, abhor-ation, stagnation, and restoration. Finally my restoration children are returning to the adoration phase and they are in their 40's:)

JenS said...

May the music of your flute ring, cause your heart to sing and cause others to reach out to embrace the concept of flute playing everywhere.

JenS said...

Oh - and petty is when I want to stomp on the lady at work who chews like she can't get the food in fast enough and only weighs maybe 12 lbs. I think what you are experiencing is, well, normal.

Aunt Becky said...

Pregnant women are bloody annoying.

Rassles said...

That's how I feel about girls with boyfriends. Except I don't have a substitute boyfriend. Well, I kind of have one, but...shut up, me.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

Although it is (now) physically for me to get pregnant, I wouldn't want to be. I have 2 beautiful children, one an adult and one near adult. But Im old and what little brain cells I have left... the ones the above mentioned children haven't destroyed... I really want to keep!

Me, You, or Ellie said...

Pregnancy sucks. It's one weird crappy thing after the other, the entire 40 weeks. The only good part is the baby, and you have her.

Now making babies is fun, but I'm pretty sure you've got that covered too.

So you're enjoying the two fun parts without having to deal with the crappy part. You're one smart ass pod person.

And btw, I can't whistle.

beth

Ellen said...

I think it's time for you to watch this video again.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tJRzBpFjJS8

Shannon said...

Meg was always meant to be yours, she just came to you in a different way than some other babies come to their mothers... I believe that without a doubt and really, trust me, pregancy is not all that! My pregnancies were extremely DIFFICULT... lots of problems!

Sam said...

I feel you, sister. I have no desire to have more children, nor would I ever, EVER want a different child than the one who came to me through adoption.

But sometimes I get annoyed that I have the same damn ORGANS as all those pregnant women, and all my life I was told they work, and yet...no, they don't. For no reason.

And sometimes that--coupled with the fact that I've had a period every month for 30 FREAKING YEARS FOR NO REASON--pisses me off. ;)

just making my way said...

Two years ago four out of the six kids in my family were having babies. Two of my sisters and two sisters-in-law. My other brother and his wife were going through fertility treatments and every month for four months in a row, a baby was born and they were told the treatments didn't take, sometimes on the same day. Brutal.

I don't think you are being petty at all.

LL Cool Joe said...

This is a beautiful heart felt post. My birth mother created me but didn't want me. My adopted mother couldn't create me but wanted me. I'd rather be wanted than created.

I've done your 5 award! It was fun, thanks!

BugginWord said...

For some reason I can't stop thinking about Zamfir. And fellatio jokes with the phrase "playing the flute." And corn dog vibrators.

Mama Zen said...

I know this feeling. Sure do.

Midwestern Mama Holly said...

COngrats on being Studio 30's featured blogger !!!!

Bridget Callahan said...

I have a friend who is in the same position. She's been trying for so long, and you really can't bring up babies around her at all. It makes me feel a little guilty for all the effort I expend on birth control.

However, they won't even discuss adoption because her husband was adopted and wants his own. Which seems counter-intuitive to me.

All I'm saying, I guess, is that it's innate to protect and nurture a baby that's physically yours. It takes a much bigger heart to protect and nurture someone else's and make her your own.

Kaylen said...

Ha- pod people. That's totally how it is!
I sometimes feel the same way about married people - like they are whistling away with their partner and I'm playing a flute over here all alone and nobody wants to play a flute with me!

My son is a foot taller than me. It's weird to have to look up to talk to him when I'm mad at something he does...

Leslie said...

Your baby's chubby cheeks are adorable! Thank you for joining the tale of going natural!

Catherine said...

There is nothing petty about how you are feeling. Both my boys were adopted so I have never had a baby either. When I was younger I had some envy but now when I am around the pregnant ones I just think thank goodness that's not me. Meg is your treasure as my boys are mine. Plus as meangirl said, your vajanky is happier.