Tuesday, April 6, 2010

Gimme Five Dollas

The ingenuity and idiocy of the Internet never cease to amaze me. I am so amazed, in fact, I have invented a new word to describe what I see: idinuity. Basically I plan to use it every time I see an Internet sensation that is either ridiculous or totally useless, and that I really wish I had thought of, because it would have made me a millionaire and/or gotten me a book deal. For instance: the website "This is Why You're Fat." The world doesn't need it, and it is nothing but a tumblr blog of gross food pictures submitted by readers. Still, it landed the authors (editors?) a six figure book deal. They are absolutely the kings of the idinuits. Wait, they might actually be the princes. The guy who got a television development deal from his Twitter stream is the the king. Or maybe the guy who invented LOL Cats.

The latest discovery in the world of idinuic web ideas is Fiverr. This site qualifies because it is not only making it's owners money, but also making money for thousands of people who have no discernibly talent in the real world. Here people can post ads for what they are willing to do for five dollars. The possibilities range from the mundane to the sublime. Most have to do with Twittering website recommendations, writing jokes or stories, or designing websites. One person offers to "eat your soul." Another offers to send a picture of her cat that is in need of an operation. I haven't seen any offers for naked pictures, but it's still a relatively young site. They haven't figured out yet that the Internet is for porn.

I am still trying to decide if I should offer my services on Fiverr. Most of all, because I am not sure of the services I could offer. Other than sarcasm, news writing, and talking myself and others out of sobriety and/or exercise are really my only skills I think anyone would be interested in. Maybe I could be a "Private Dancer" taping myself so others can feel better about their dancing abilities. I know Kate Gosselin would sign up. Or maybe I could offer to listen to cat/baby/work stories and feign interest. Wait, Kurt has that market cornered.

I've got it!For five dollars I will tell them about my new word to describe all Internet phenomenon.

Shit, I just gave it away for free... I am so not an idinuit.

16 comments:

Riot Kitty said...

Love the word! But I also love lolcats.

Captain Dumbass said...

"If you took all the porn off the internet there'd only be one site left, w-w-w-bring back the porn dot net."
-House

Dr. Monkey Von Monkerstein said...

For five dolla I make you holla.

She Said said...

For five dolla, you could be a sniglet creator.

Jules said...

Shit. DO YOU KNOW HOW OFTEN I HAVE SAID, "I'll pay you $5 if you....."

I COULD HAVE DONE THAT ON THE INTERNET!!!!

WTF!!!???

First, the Sarah Palin coloring book. THEN the Mean cards. NOW THIS???

How are people stealing my ideas?????

DAMN IT!

Alyssa said...

I love your post. How true that some of these dumb ideas take off??? I'm with you...I'm gonna start submitting MY dumb ideas...and watch them being published under another's name...

Great new word, by the way! Thanks for sharing it, and I won't use it unless I attribute it to you!!!

Little Girl Big Glasses said...

I think you should start a site where you'll do anything they will but for $4.99 and run those bastards outta business.

BugginWord said...

Then I'll start up mine for $4.98. Aw yeah. Wait, if you pay me $5 I won't do that.

Jill VT said...

Gosh, you are a lot more with it than I am...I had no idea about that new site. Alas...I once thought good writing might earn a buck or two on the internet. HAH! Hah!

I'll be back for more...I'm really good at being talked out of sobriety.

Kim said...

This is a lot more sanitary than what you used to do for five dollars.

Snotty McSnotterson said...

Now I want to subscribe to Fiverr... but I'm afraid to go the website based on your description.

Kelly said...

This is pretty weird, did you see all the people wanting to sneak into your computer? I'm sure that they really want to "help." But I have to say, it's not nearly as weird as ratemypoo.com. My daughter showed me that one. Gross.

Aunt Juicebox said...

I really just need to stay off the internet. Honestly, I wouldn't do very much at all for five bucks. Maybe give you a dirty look. That's about all the effort I could generate for that little money.

just making my way said...

I keep trying to figure out the best way to pronounce that word. You know, so I can drop it into casual conversation. (I won't send you five bucks for it - but I'll think about it.)

Rassles said...

I get sick of those real fast. Because usually people aren't funny. I don't like it when I don't think someone's funny.

Rassles said...

Also: you're funny.