I do not keep secrets well. I am the person who ruins surprise parties, who never gives a gift without asking the recipient if they will like it, and who reads all spoilers available, and then recaps them for people who don't necessarily want to know. However, for the past three months, I have kept a HUGE secret. Tara is totally knocked up.
Yep, that's right. She's got a bun in the oven. She's with child. She's in the family way. She's got a one way ticket to Momville on a placantal pony. In other words, she's pregnant. And I have known the WHOLE time. Since the first pee stick. Since the first panic. Since the moment when her partner said "I don't know what to say. Maybe you should call Libby." Yet, even though I've known, and I am a horrible secret keeper, I haven't said a word.
Okay, maybe that's not entirely true. Maybe I told a few people. I mean, of course I told Ryan, we share a brain. Oh, and I told my Mom. I didn't have to tell my sisters, because my mom told them. Ryan told our friend Lee, who told his wife Julie. I accidentally told our friend Meghan. And our friend Katie. Oh, and our friend Lindsey. Other than that though, I didn't tell anyone, and when you think of the number of people in the world, and how much I like to talk, that's pretty impressive. I mean, she's 17 weeks along by now, and this is the first blog about it. Really, I deserve a secret keeping medal.
If my almost stellar secret keeping ability isn't impressive enough, consider how I got the people who knew the secret to keep the secret that they knew from Tara. She was here over Christmas, and she saw them all. Yet, until this moment, she didn't know that any of them knew. When you think about it, I am really a master of manipulation. I could be a mob boss. I SHOULD be a mob boss. Except, then I would be telling everyone I was in the mob, and that probably wouldn't work out.
So, now you know. Tara is pregnant. Soon, the most sarcastic child ever will be born into the world. You should all be trembling with fear. Oh, and should it not be naturally sarcastic, we will nurture the shit out of it until it is. After all, Meg can't be the only child who learns to roll her eyes before she can walk.
I am so frickin' excited.