Wednesday, February 17, 2010

Get Thee Behind Me Satan, I Mean Jen

Today is the first day of Lent. For those of you who are heathens, that is the 40 day period in which Christians remember the time Jesus spent int he desert being tempted by Satan before he was crucified. In order to mark it people (Catholics in particular, or Episcopalians raised by Catholics in my case) fast, or at least give up something they love so they can suffer being tempted like Christ. Yeah, I know, it doesn't make a lot of sense due to that whole "all you have to do is believe in me" aspect of Christianity, but it brings out the martyr in all of us, which, obviously, is something we love.

I actually haven't given up anything for Lent in years. It isn't that I haven't wanted to (I mean, all that suffering!), I just have had other suffering to do (hormones, IUI, fertility tests) so I haven't push
ed it. This year though, I have so much to be happy about, so it's time for a little Jesus based misery, just to say thanks. To that end, I am giving up wine.

Are you still there?

Yeah, I know, you think I'm kidding. If you know me, or have read this blog more than once, you know I like my wine. In fact, on some days it is all I like. And so, there are many people out there who don't think I will be able to go all 40 days without it.

One person in particular is sure I won't be able to do it. Her name isn't important, but it sounds a lot like Jen. Okay, her name is Jen. Today after learning that another co-worker had given up candy for Lent she left the following on her desk:

She's pure, unadulterated evil. Tomorrow she says she is going to do the same thing with wine bottles on my desk. Oh, and if that isn't enough? She says if I make it all 40 days, she will buy me pajama jeans. Yes, those pajama jeans. The pajama jeans that I think were created especially for me, and will never take off if they are attained. I mean, just look at the beauty:

Jen is one of the people who has mocked me because of my lust for pajama jeans. How delicious it will be when she is required to buy them. Oh, yes. They will be mine. And you know the best thing about them? I can spill wine on them and it won't show.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I am going to go make myself a martini. It won't be the same, but it might make it easier. I'll even toast to Jen. Oh, and Jesus.


Kim said...

During my 20's I slept in my jeans many nights.

I am so ahead of my time.

Giving up wine but being able to drink other alcoholic beverages is cheating. That's like non-denominational Lent.

Anonymous said...

I'm giving up Lent for Lent. This means anything goes. I just thought you should know.

Anonymous said...

I LOVE that. I'm giving up Catholicism. Oh wait. I did that in my early 20s. Shit.

calicobebop said...

Yeah... I gave up all alcohol. Just to see if I could make it. It's day two and I've already had to give myself a pep talk. :)

I have never heard pajama jeans but they look totally awesome. Do they make them in size "large ass" because if so, I'm there.

MJenks said...

You could do what I used to do: give up abstinence and sobriety.

Hippo Brigade said...

Are you F-ing kidding me?

Why am I not wearing a pair right now!?

Oh, and hey, good luck with the whole no wine thing, I'm giving up sugar. And right now I'm in a bad mood because of it.

Damn Lent.

Kelly said...

If I had those pajama jeans, I'd never have to change clothes on the weekends again! Put them on Friday night, and put work clothes on again on Monday! Where have they been all my life?

Gina said...

Pajama jeans are the best incentive ever. YOU CAN DO IT!!

Allison said...

Hello, Libby Logic. I stumbled upon your blog via your super-witty comment on Fertility Chick's website. Now that I've spent a solid hour of "work" time reading your blog, I feel I practically know you and am comfortable enough to leave a comment. (Isn't blog-land wonderfully strange that way?)

You rock. Thanks for the laughs. And your Meg is sofa king precious I want to scream.

DC Diva said...

Pajama jeans have existed forever. They're called maternity jeans. I'm serious. Check them out. I know plenty of people who wear and LOVE them while not being pregnant. Crazy, but true.

Lulu said...

So, you'll be drinking wine on Sundays, right? Because who hasn't heard of that Catholic loophole - no, not annulment, close - but the fact that because Lent lasts for 40 days, and there are actually anywhere from 44- 46 days in Lent (Ash Wednesday to Easter Sunday) - yes, you can actually 'do' your give-up on Sundays.

It's true. You could look it up.
Getting over 12 years of Catholic school