Monday, December 21, 2009

Living in the Yuck

Salt Lake City is normally an absolutely beautiful place to live. Actually, beautiful doesn't even cut it. Gorgeous, picturesque, and panoramic are more apt to describe the surroundings in which we live. Mountains rise up on all sides of the valley, there is a glistening lake off in the distance, and the sky goes on forever. Really, the surroundings almost make up for the politics of the people who live here.

Of course, on the days that the surroundings aren't so nice, they are downright gross. Ladies and gentlemen, I give you the inversion.

I am down below.

What's the inversion, you may ask. Well, because the Salt Lake valley is ringed by mountains, sometimes the air just stands still. Yep, that's right, the warm air rises to the top, and the cold air stays down on the bottom -- with all of the pollution. As the days go on, and the air stays stagnant, the situation just gets worse and worse until it is like living inside a vacuum bag that needs to be dumped. You can actually taste the air. The first breath taken outside is usually followed by coughs only heard in an emphysema ward. The sun is barely visible, looking like something out of a post apocalyptic movie. It's pretty damn grim. And right now? The inversion is in full effect.

There are ways to escape the inversion. Going up into the mountains is the best. Drinking copious amounts and refusing to look outside works too. Of course, I can't really do the latter with an infant in the house. Of course, we could all make it a lot better by not driving, therefore not upping the pollution in the valley. That would mean walking though, and right now, the air conditions are so bad people are advised against doing that outside.

This is why we pray for snow. Wonderful, white, glistening, air pushing snow. Of course, then we all bitch about that, but that's a topic for another blog...

13 comments:

Jules said...

I've only flown into Salt Lake City once. It was pretty then. But then I met the airport. It was the most crowded, strange-people filled airport I've ever seen in my entire life. And I kept looking for men with multiple wives. I didn't see any. I was bummed then.

Kim said...

Is this what drives you guys to make shit like brussel sprouts with apples? I wonder what kind of genetic mutations appear after several generations... do you have webbed toes?

Logical Libby said...

Yes, I have webbed toes. It has nothing to do with Utah though. I'm just gifted. Think of how fast I can swim!

just making my way said...

I never knew that about Salt Lake City. That's pretty gross, no offense and all.

What about webbed fingers?

Summer said...

Hmmm. I did not know this. It looks suffocating!

Selma said...

I had no idea. It must be hard to live with at times. Hope it has cleared a bit by now.

KAM said...

Did your snow help?

Sprite's Keeper said...

Oh, my heavens. The mountains are beautiful, but I don't think I could handle living in a permanent fog OUTSIDE my head. Oy!

kys said...

I had no idea. I was under the impression that Salt Lake City is all fresh, clean air and healthy living. Mormom propaganda.

Merry Christmas anyway!

Heather said...

Is Mormom propoganda similar to Mormon propaganda? I wonder if they have books on that at Borders? Stay inside and enjoy your baby. Perfect excuse not to go to Target.

KuKd Chick said...

Hmmm, that's fascinating. I've driven thru Salt Lake on a few occasions on our drives from the northwest to Phoenix. Normally yeah - it's a crisp, clean and gorgeous place. Interesting to see the yuck. (really, it's not all THAT yucky - just kinda cool)

Chief said...

Im still coughing up the gunk. Asthmatics like our household members are grateful for the snow.

soulmoxie said...

I never thought I would miss the inversion of SLC, but I do! I love living in Germany, but our whole winter consists (so far) of inversion. Give me SLC anyday - - at least there is the hope of the bright blue sky and snow storm around the corner!