Monday, November 16, 2009

We Are What We Eat: And We Suck Because of It

Grocery shopping has gotten a lot more complicated since Meg arrived. It isn't that I am buying food for her (I can't even imagine the hell I am going to endure when she starts eating), but rather, it's because I have started caring about what I buy. Oh, and, let me tell you, when it comes to buying food, there are a million ways to feel bad about the choices you make.

It used to be I took two things into account when buying food: fat grams and alcohol content. If the former was low and the latter was high, I would put it in my cart. Oh, and if it came with an "instant" coupon, I would buy two. I called it the "Courtney Love" diet, and it worked pretty well. I didn't care about organic, or locally grown, or if it had more preservatives than an Egyptian mummy. As long as it kept me skinny and buzzed, I was good. I could get in and out of the store in a matter of minutes.

Now, it takes me at least an hour. Here is why:

  1. I pick up an item.
  2. I determine the item is on our list, and something we will eat.
  3. I try to determine if the item is organically grown, because, after all, pesticides are bad for the planet, and will bring about the end of the world, which will make Meg hate me.
  4. If it is organic, I try to determine how far away said item was produced, because trucks carrying items from far away burn fossil fuels, which cause global warming, which will bring about the end of the world, which will make Meg hate me.
  5. I think about how much of said organic, locally grown, item will be left over, and worry about throwing away food. After all, that thrown out food will end up in a landfill, and landfills will eventually take over the planet, bringing about the end of the world, which will make Meg hate me.
  6. I put the item back.
The first time that I went to the grocery store after Meg was born we were out of EVERYTHING. I came home with a squash. I don't know how I thought we would live on a single squash for a week, or even what kind of squash it was, I just knew it was the only thing I felt okay buying. When it rotted in the fridge two weeks later I felt like a complete failure.

I don't even want to think about how bad I would feel if I took the fact Meg is eating formula into account. That's why I tell myself it was manufactured by angels who replant the rain forest in their spare time. Don't try to tell me any different. I know Meg can't eat squash.

12 comments:

Kacie said...

Haha, awww.

I think consciousness certainly has it's place in this world but it is a huge bummer too.

Luckily (?) I have the "I'm to broke to but organic" excuse, one of the few advantages to being a 23 year old single mom :)

Scribe said...

It used to take me two hours to grocery shop, reading every label and choosing one product over another. I've got it down to a science now.

As for the fat grams and preservatives, I try to buy as close to nature as possible, and if that means buying regular yogurt versus low-fat (with a ton of additives), then I choose the higher fat content.

Not Afraid to Use It said...

My label reading makes my dad crazy. He wants to buy whatever is on sale regardless of its content. He is slowly coming to understand why I do what I do and buy what I buy, but he still hates it when I hand him a list.

Jules said...

IBS makes grocery shopping SO much easier for me.... As in, "Can I eat this or will I get sick? Sick. No buy."

You might want to consider asking the GI Doctor how to get IBS.

Logical Libby said...

I almost think I should ask my doctor about getting IBS just to see the look on her face when I tell her it's to make grocery shopping easier...

Badass Geek said...

I hate grocery shopping. It takes forever, even when we have it listed out.

Aunt Juicebox said...

My husband has to accompany me to the store, or I come out with enough food to feed an army, but only if they prefer only one or two food groups at a time. I just randomly throw stuff in the cart til it's full, regardless of if I make it all the way around the store, or only down 3 aisles. I hate shopping. Hate it.

Melistress said...

On the upside, it won't be long before she CAN eat squash. I'm sure you can find some fabulous squash baby food recipes out there.

Oh, and all our children eventually hate us anyway, for a little while at least. (please don't take my mother into account with that statement)

erin said...

You could steam the squash to a pulp and feed it to her. Elijah ate all kinds of steamed veggies really early on.

He loved totally annihilated zucchini. Now that I'm thinking about it, cooking it a mooshy pulp might take out all the nutrients and stuff? Hmm...

Little Girl Big Glasses said...

Actually, Meg is going to hate you for making her eat local organic produce when all the other kids get Cheetos and Dingdongs in their lunch boxes.

Kim said...

Occasionally I debate the wisdom of ingesting something that has a shelf life of 3 years, but then the Homer Simpson in me wins out.

Sam said...

Okay, now I feel seriously guilty because that first year of parenthood? I ate nothing but McDonald's and licorice. I couldn't even imagine grocery shopping. And my kid WAS eating food. Eek.