Ten Years Later

That picture was taken ten years ago today, on my 25th birthday. The guy in it, Murphy, I am happy to say is still my friend. I still have that dress, even though it doesn't fit the way it used to. Those are pretty much the only things that are still the same in my life. I don't live in the same city, I don't work in the same industry, I don't even have the same hair color. Am I happier? Most definitely. Smarter? I couldn't get much dumber than I was when I was 25. Better? I like to think so, but I do have my moments of regression. For all the things I have gained though, there are times I wish I could go back to being that girl. I thought I had life by the balls, and that I could do anything. I didn't worry about time, because I had plenty of it. I figured I had plenty of times to make and accomplish all kinds of goals.

Yeah, I didn't do that.

The 25 year old in my office says she has a whole list of goals, and dates she wants to accomplish them by. I admire her, and not in a "want to drink her blood to remain young" way. I will admire her even more if she gets any of them done within the given time frame. After all, one thing that I have learned in the past decade is that the one way to make sure something doesn't happen is to plan on it. I mean, sure there are those Horatio Alger stories of hard work and determination paying off, but most of the time dumb luck and timing play a big part. Anyone who tells you otherwise is probably trying to sell you a self help book.

Look at that girl above. She has no idea that she is about to move back to Utah to get her Masters degree. She has no idea that while in Utah her plans to move back to D.C. after grad school will be derailed when she meets the love of her life and decides being with him is the only thing she wants to do. She has no clue that all the birth control she is taking is useless, because to have a daughter she will have to adopt. And she had no idea that she will love that baby girl so much that even blogging about her makes her tear up. She has no idea how lucky she is. Of course, if you told her about all of that she probably would think none of that sounded very lucky at all. That's where the dumb thing comes in.

I guess what I am trying to say is that while youth and goals are great, just living life and appreciating it is better.

Wow, maybe I SHOULD write a self-help book... I will put it on my goal list.