It's Like a Your Mama Contest, Only Meaner and We Really Should Be Too Old for This But We're Not

I am on vacation this week, and I promised Ryan I wouldn't document every moment of our trip. So, instead I have enlisted the help of some of my favorites out there to help you pass the time. First up is Kim, the evil genius from Yellow Trash Diaries. I'm not quite sure what she wrote, she wouldn't let me proof it, so I hope it isn't too awful...

It has come to my attention that Libby has been acting rather peculiar of late, and is beginning to scare one of the temp girls at work. According to my source (who would rather not be named because she has small children and a mother in a nursing home and you just never know what Libby might do when she's angry), she has been coming to work this week with her makeup like this...

and the other day she was dressed in her pajama pants (the ones with the dancing alligators wearing sunglasses). Apparently this was not on purpose, and she was outraged that no one had brought her little mistake to her attention. Her co-workers were baffled and shrugged to each other-- She looks like that all the time, but one well-meaning soul took Libby's tirade to heart and called her on her attire the next morning. Um, Libby, I think you accidentally wore your husbands clothes today-- only it wasn't an accident, and they weren't Ryan's clothes. Needless to say the poor girl spent the rest of the day in the bathroom crying after Libby got through with her.

So what, you might wonder, is causing all of this turmoil? Apparently Libby has been beside herself ever since she realized that I now have more followers than she does. Some of you may remember the little contest we had a while back to see who could obtain 50 followers first, and although she somehow managed to emerge victorious in that duel (I heard she had people at work on the phones like a Jerry Lewis telethon, and she really shouldn't be surprised at all the crazy late night phone calls she receives after throwing around the I'll be your best friend line so much), she has been living in fear of the day when the student would surpass the teacher. Well, that day has come, and she has been writhing in agony like a garden slug who's had coarse salt poured all over her. The only way to end her suffering is to take her up on her challenge to renew the contest-- first one to 100 followers wins. It's the only humane thing to do, and I'll give her appropriate credit for any followers I collect while she is on vacation (along with several other handicaps for...well, for just being Libby. Honestly, I don't even know if I can enjoy a win over her now-- just doesn't seem fair.) I think she'd have a better chance if she competed against me using her other blog EatSLC, as I believe that is where her best writing takes place.

And now before I leave this lovely site, I'd like to share a funny story about our dear Libby. It was during a Christmas party at the office X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X XX X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X X
and now that poor guy has a phobia about closets and shudders every time he sees mistletoe. Gee, I hope Libby doesn't edit that because it is hilarious and I'm sure you readers won't judge her too harshly for such inappropriate behavior. She's lucky that Utah is one of the few states that doesn't consider acts like that involving a small rodent to be illegal.

Enjoy your vacation, Libby-- I will be awaiting your return.