Wednesday, May 20, 2009

Kids Should Lie More

Over the weekend my sister-in-law got married. Since I am not like most Utahns and think a wedding calls for more than just "fancy jeans" I decided to wear a dress, and heels, do my hair and (gasp) wear make-up. I felt like I was wearing a huge hideous mask and kept asking Ryan if I looked like Tammy Faye. My 4-year old niece had a different opinion about my use of cosmetics...
Shaylee: Libby, your lips look so shiny.
Me: I have on lipstick.
Shaylee: Your eyes look so big
Me: I have on mascara.
(By now I was starting to get a Red Riding Hood vibe, and was afraid my darling little niece was about to turn into a creepy Swedish vampire creature, but I didn't let on)
Shaylee: You just look so different. You look so... so... so... pretty.
(Yes, I was a little taken aback, but I thought to myself that she is only four, and that decking a flower girl is not proper wedding etiquette. However, I couldn't just let it go.)
Me: Well, don't I normally look pretty?
Shaylee: You normally look like Libby.
Ouch. While the remark did sting, it gave me a great ides for a new career path. I am going to sell Mary Kay. However, instead of reeling clients in by offering them a free facial, I am just going to bring along my associate Shaylee to tell them what they really look like without make-up.

I see a pink Cadillac in my future.


Janine said...

brilliant. This is marketing genius. I'll take the free facial - you don't have to bring the kid. I know what I am and it ain't pretty without lots and lots of the shiny stuff.

Heather said...

At least children have an excuse. Nothing is worse than when you wear make up and grown adult make remarks about it.

calicobebop said...

Lol. I love kids - love them! - but sometimes they can be brutal.

amelia said...

Don't fall into the dark abyss that is Mary Kay! AHHHHH!

Ha, my nieces have totally noticed done this too. My 5-year-old niece is totally into those Fancy Nancy books and told me I used to be fancy before I had a baby "Because you always wore fancy shoes and necklaces" (full-time job) and now I'm not so fancy "Because you just wear flip-flops." Ouch.

Bethany said...

When Josie was 6 she did something like that to me. I bought a new dress and was trying it on when she came into the bathroom.

Josie: Bethany, you look like a princess!

I smiled, and then...

Josie: Nevermind. You just look cute.

She shrugs her shoulders and leaves room. I was too stunned to speak for a couple minutes.

Princess Consuela Bananahammock said...

5-year-old Meredith to me: Are you having a baby?
Me: No, but I just HAD a baby. That's why my tummy is like this.
Meredith: Oh. Do you eat a lot?
Me: yes.
Meredith: oh, THAT'S why.
(pausing to think)
Meredith: My mommy eats a lot too, only not like you.

Jeez. And this conversation was had just yesterday.