Sunday, May 3, 2009

Babies Need Stuff

Things are moving along with the adoption process and, unless something unexpected happens, like our criminal background checks turning up that we are both wanted for shoplifting in Yemen, our profile should be active by June first at the latest. Then we just wait for someone to pick us. And if they do? We could end up with a baby. Then we'll really be screwed. Why? I think the conversation we had on Friday tells the tale...
Me: How much to babies eat?
Ryan: I don't know.
Me: We should probably figure that out.
Ryan: Maybe there's a book on it.
You see, we have spent so much time trying to have a baby, that we really haven't thought about what to do with a baby if one comes to live in our house. We have all the books on "Fertility Diets" and "Reproductive Zen," but none on swaddling or saying good night to moons. We have all the accouterments of baby making, like thermometers, syringes, and ovulation predictors, but when it comes to actual things for a baby we have one onesie. Oh, and a sippie cup that someone left here after a party.

I think we're going to need to go shopping. I'm just not sure when.

You see, while we have nothing for a baby, and could get a baby at any time after our application becomes "active," we don't really want to have anything around the house until we know that our baby is home with us, and not going anywhere else. We have heard too many stories of adoptions that went south at the last minute, leaving the couple to go home empty handed, and with a fully furnished nursery. The one onesie that we have I bought right after we started trying to have a baby, and when I was sure it would happen immediately. It hurts to look at it, and just a scrap of cloth. I can only imagine what a whole room would do to me.

So, here is my plan: on the way home from the hospital, be it in a month, or in two years, I am going to blow on a seashell to rally the troops. I am really hoping that a scene like one out of "Snow White" will evolve, with rabbits and fawns bringing packs of diapers and pacifiers. If that doesn't happen I guess I'll send Ryan out on a mad dash to Target and Toys R' Us. As long as he brings back a bouncy seat and no clothes with itchy tags I think we'll be fine.

In the mean time though, I am allowing us one baby thing in the house. We got some books. I don't know if you all were aware of this, but there are a lot of them out there...

12 comments:

Katie B. Lieberman, LCSW said...

I will bring you books, so long as you don't read them. You see, babies eat, poop and sleep. . .and they tell you which of the three they need. No literature needed You'll be fine. I am anxiously awaiting the seashell alert. ...

Amanda said...

Know that due to you, Mom & that other Aunt, "What'shername", I have a ton of baby clothes - and while I know that hand-me-downs from the chosen one are not that appealing, they will work in an emergency pinch. Plus, they are all in good condition, since I do not think Luke wore an outfit more than once before he was gifted with another.
They are here, if time becomes an emergency.

Also, do not underestimate the grandmotherly prowess of our mother. She has been in training for when you guys get a baby - including a fully-illustrated, color coded shopping map of stores carrying baby gear. She's primed, she's ready - she'll shop.

Cate said...

I will start looking for a fawn and skunk that can assemble a crib.

Sandi said...

Can I pipe in now? You are expecting. PERIOD. Even if the first or the second match blows up in smoke, you know you are getting a baby. I promise you. This happens! BABIES COME! Go create a nursery. Start shopping. YOU are EXPECTING!

Amy said...

If you know people with babies, ask them if it's OK to have a peek in their diaper bags. There's a good list of everything you'd ever need right there. Also, dishwasher caddies for teeny plastic parts to bottles and such.

Janine said...

I agree with Sandi.

This is a somewhat warped version of The Secret, but in my life whenever I just acted like (or pretended even) that (insert whatever here) were going to happen and then I actually did something tangible to prove that that something was happening soon, like buy a new dress or have my nails done, etc., sure as shit the thing would happen.

So I think you should assume (rightfully so!) that you are going to have a baby and go have fun just like every other expectant mother does, picking out the nursery.

amelia said...

You've probably had a lot of recommendations for this one, but "What to Expect The First Year" (as part of that "What to Expect" series) is a good resource for a new baby. I got it as a shower gift and it's a great go-to resource for things like "How much do you feed a baby" (I had no idea either).

You are in UT, right? Kid 2 Kid is an awesome resource - gently used baby stuff for cheap.

Good luck!

Tara said...

That's my sippy cup. And I would like it back now.

sn0tty said...

There's also this amazing newfangled thing called the World Wide Web. I hear it knows a thing or two about babies.

My mother always told me if my son was alive at the end of the day, I had done my job. That made failure a little easier on me in the beginning, because LOOK AT ME! I'M FEEDING IT AND EVERYTHING! IT'S SMILING AND SLEEPING AND BEING A BABY! You'll be surprised how fast your instincts kick in, and how much you'll rely on your mother.

Amanda said...

Please return Tara's sippy cup.

Ellen said...

i am so thrilled for you libby! get a boppy pillow. cash still uses it to this day. don't waste your time on a diaper genie. DO get a baby bjorn. it means you can hold your baby... with no hands! i hope someone there will throw you a big baby shower! i think i owe you a rocking chair... which we still use to this day!

Murphy Gilson said...

This Sandi person knows the deal. You should now treat your life as if you are 8 1/2 months pregnant. Get that shit done now because when baby comes - you will not be able to casually browse the aisles at your local baby mart!

And Janine's right too in more ways that one. We had a picture of our nursery opn our adoption site. It helped birthmothers visualize their baby's future as our baby.