Same Old Sad Song

The economic crisis is affecting everyone, not just the people about to lose their homes, or the Wall Street tycoons who may not be able to give solid gold backscratchers to all of their servants this Christmas. I certainly am feeling it. I feel when I buy gas, or groceries, or even wine (god forbid). I feel it when I see friends lose jobs, and not find new ones immediately, because no one is hiring. I feel it when I look at my 401k and see it has fallen by 15 percent in a month. But, mostly, I feel it because it has made my job boring.

Now, first off let me say I am thankful to even have a job. They have been threatening to replace me with a typing monkey for years -- a mute one that won't take vacations. But I am soooo tired about writing about the economy. Every day writing the same words, in basically the same order, telling the viewer the same thing -- grab your ankles, because you are fucked.

I try to make it interesting. I substitute the word "rescue" for the word "bailout," the word "deal" for "package, " the word "'motherfuckers" for "Wall Street CEOs." But it doesn't get any better. Sisyphus would have quit by now and gone back to the rock. And it isn't going to get better any time soon. For at least the next two months I will be reporting the same story, only it may get worse and worse.

Honestly, I am beginning to understand why people prefer to be ill informed. Being informed is painful. And trying to inform people? While making it understandable? And somewhat interesting? Yeesh. It makes me wish for fires, or natural disasters. Not really bad one where people get hurt, but ones where enough damage is done that it's interesting. Damage covered by insurance, of course, Wait, insurance companies could be going bankrupt because of the economic crisis. DAMN YOU WALL STREET!!!!

The Presidential candidates could make things easier for me, but they don't seem to understand that we live in a digital age where every speech they make is transmitting across the country. If McCain and Obama would just change up their speeches, and give me more to work with, that would be great. But they don't. They both say the same things, in the same inflections, at every rally, speech, ribbon cutting, and baby kissing. A great 15 second sound bit is wonderful -- for 15 seconds. After that, I have no use for it -- and I have to fill an hour. I'm telling you, I might vote Republican if McCain starts changing it up. I know Palin can't, they only record her voice track once a day -- like Teddy Ruxpin.

I'm a little worried that I am going to "go postal" in the television sense and start making things up. Or start setting little fires. Or start using items off Perez Hilton. A whole block about how Lindsey Lohan was kidnapped by lesbian aliens, who may or may not be responsible for the blaze burning by the Great Salt Lake. At least I would enjoy writing it. That story wouldn't include the word "bailout."