Saturday, June 14, 2008

Viva Mexico!

Hello, people! For those of you who have been concerned about my well being because I haven't blogged in a while, fear no more. I wasn't trapped under something heavy, or kidnapped by Utah's Republican majority, but instead have been enjoying a much needed Mexican vacation with Ryan and a few friends. We had a really great time, and I will regale you, my 27 daily readers, with tales of our adventures in the coming week. However, because I can't do anything without complaining about some aspects of it, let's get that out of the way.

Five Things That Sucked About Mexico

1. The Rain. Mexico's rainy season is supposed to start in July. That is when it is supposed to start. No one told Mexico that though, and for the first three days of our trip it you would have thought we were in Seattle. Instead of laying on the beach, drinking margaritas, we spent those days in the house passing around copies of People, Details, and Vanity Fair until we could all quote from Angelina Jolie's interview, and identify all of the new necktie trends. Oh, and drinking margaritas.

2. The Mildew. Of course, the rain didn't keep the temperatures from soaring, and they went even higher when the sun came out. That made everything we owned smell like a high school locker room after Hurricane Katrina. Our rental car smelled so bad that the stench followed us out. Tara and I ran to the store one day and it was ten minutes before I realized the bad smell wasn't seafood out in the open, but my shorts from sitting on a damp seat. Lovely.

3. The Bugs. I don't mind bugs. In fact, I am the kind of person who scoops up spiders and puts them outside. However, in Mexico I smacked the little suckers like I was playing an arcade game, and I still ended up with millions of bites. Every night around nine there would be some kind of bug hatch, and we would be swarmed and bitten. And those bugs that didn't bite would just annoy the shit out of us.

4. The Rest of the World. Yes, I know that part of going on vacation is getting away from it all, and I didn't miss most of it. However, I really missed being cut off from parts of it. For instance, I hated not knowing if any major news stories had broken, like if Brangelina had delivered their twins. And I hated not being able to talk to my folks. There was no phone at our rental house, and Mexican public phones were devised by Rubik before he started work on his cube. It may sound weird, since I am almost 34, but I miss my parents if I can't talk to them and gloat that I am on vacation and they are not.

5. Coming Home. Before adulthood caught up with us Ryan and I used to take off on two or three week voyages around the world, and even then it wasn't enough time. It seems that I just get into vacation mode on the day we are leaving. This morning I was sitting on the beach, a beer in my hand, talking to Ryan and Tara and I just felt myself totally relax. And then I realized we had to get to the airport or else miss our flight. Now I wish we had.

Okay, so that's all the petty shit I have to say about Mexico. And, trust me, it pales in comparison to the good stuff I have to say. Just wait until you hear about the Rhino...


Cate said...

wow, 27 readers, I am impressed.