My Butterfly

Ryan and I have been Netflixing, which has actually had us watching movies rather than buying them and then using the cases as coasters, or to prop up the wonky leg on a piece of furniture. I'm telling you, without that special edition of "King Kong" our bed would slope to the southwest. But I digress. Last night Ryan and I sat down to watch "The Diving Bell and Butterfly" which is a beautiful and moving film despite the fact it should be called "Make a Living Will, NOW."

For those of you unfamiliar with the film it is the true story of Jean Dominique Bauby, a man who was the editor of French Elle until he had a stroke and was completely paralyzed, except for his left eye. He then used a blinking system to dictate an entire book about his experience. I just would have blinked "put vodka in my IV" and left it at that. Of course, that's probably why no one is rushing out to make a movie of my life.

One thing that Bauby writes about in the book is the importance of relationships in his life, and how he has screwed up most of them -- especially the one with the woman who was the mother of his children. He had left her for another woman just shortly before his stroke, yet she stood by him until his death. That's a good person. The only reason I would have stuck around would be to remind him he was a shithead, that Karma was a bitch, and to see if I could take a hit off of his vodka IV. Again, why I am not a sympathetic character for a film.

Despite my best efforts the movie has stayed with me today (obviously) and even gotten me a bit reflective about relationships in my life, especially my one with Ryan. What would I regret if I could only blink at him for the rest of my life? What could I change now to avoid those regrets? And so, I give you a very special movie inspired, wedding anniversary edition of five things... Nah, just kidding. Ryan would kill me if I tried to turn this blog into my own personal marriage counseling forum. Let's just say it all comes down to listening, being more patient, and blah, blah, blah. Oh, and the blah, blah, blah? All about sex.

The decapitated piñata head just makes him hotter.

I do want to say one thing about Ryan though -- I love that man like crazy. I never thought I would find someone who would want to be with me for the long haul, and not have a major masochistic streak. He is better than the man of my dreams, and that isn't just because I had low expectations. It's because he blew all the expectations away. I can't even remember what I used to want in a man without picturing Ryan. He is my love, my friend, and the only person I would want to smother me if I could only blink one eyelid.

Happy Anniversary, Babe. I hope you don't mind I said it in my blog.