Monday, March 3, 2008

In Defense of Goodness

I was just sitting here talking to my lovely husband Ryan, wondering what in the world I should blog about tonight. Global warming? Overdone. The fact Luke has begun to roll his eyes like a zombie when he doesn't want to answer a question? Not enough raw material. The fact that high waist pants are coming back in style? Too depressing. Then Ryan pulled out a new book -- Good to Great, about how being good enough keeps everyone and everything from reaching nirvana. "Why don't you write about this" he said. He thought I was joking when I said okay.

I can already tell that he author of this book is an asshole by the first two sentences -- "Good is the enemy of great. And that is why we have had so little that becomes great. " Well, thanks, Captain Bring Down, I'm sure your kids love having motivational talks with you. Come home with an A-? That means chopping firewood while Hugo the one eyed gimp watches from the corner. And don't even ask what happens if you come home with a B.

Really, what does this guy know about being great? Right now his book is number 47 on Amazon. Yes, they sell millions of books, but if it was really great wouldn't it be number one? Also, how great is his author photo? Couldn't he have found a better expression than that of a total tool? Really, I think I could beat this guy up, and I'm not even a "good" fighter, much less a "great" one.

Also, don't we need the "good" to really recognize the "great"? If everyone was "great" we'd all just be "average"? I mean, until someone learned how to be invisible and start fires with their eyes. Maybe that would make Jim Collins happy. Yeah, his name's Jim Collins. I guess that's a good name, but it's not great, like Ron Mantooth, Bravery Bearkiller, or Barry Manilow.

This guy looks like he's a fan of Ryan's favorite psychological torture, I mean, test. You give a kid one cookie and tell them that if they don't eat it for five minutes they can have two cookies. He says it shows patience and coping mechanisms. I say that if I ever find our future children sitting there with one cookie in front of them Ryan will have to learn what it really is to wait -- in the backyard for several days. I mean, what's next, putting a Skinner Box on our baby registry?

I could go on, but I think that's good enough for now. Bite me, Collins.

P.S. I just read this to Ryan -- he says it's good, but not great. I guess Sally gets more room on the bed tonight. She'll think that's "great."


Amanda said...

You realize you will be raising axe murderers, don't you?

jon deal said...

I am totally going to try that cookie thing on one of my kids tonight.